David Burtka candidly opened up about raising his twins with husband Neil Patrick Harris — and teaching them how to stay grounded amid a life in the spotlight.
“It’s been their whole life. They know about the paparazzi and they know that they have to be nice,” Burtka, 48, exclusively told Us Weekly at the GLSEN Respect Awards at Gotham Hall in New York City. “My son went through a period where he sort of gritted his teeth for photos and we said, ‘No, you have to be nice.’ But, you know, it’s tough.”
Burtka recognized it’s difficult for his and Harris’ 13-year-old twins, son Gideon and daughter Harper, to know they could be being watched at all times.
“I think there’s another added pressure to feel like you’re always having to be on or you never know if someone’s going to jump out of the bushes and might take a photo of you,” he said. “I think … my kids having Neil as a dad is a little more of a pressure. I feel for them that way.”
While a life in the public eye may have its downsides, Burtka acknowledged the perks associated with it, too. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great life and we love it,” he said. “But, you know, there’s good and bad to everything.”
On top of balancing their life in the spotlight, Gideon and Harper are also trying to maintain a sense of normalcy as middle-schoolers — which Burtka noted is not an easy age.
“Do you remember 6th, 7th, 8th grade? It’s the toughest time and I can’t imagine what it’s like now to grow up as a 13-year-old with what’s going on overseas and global warming and everything in the world,” Burtka said. “They don’t have social media, thank God. We won’t let them on social media until they’re 16.”
Burtka told Us that “there’s a lot of emotions” while his twins navigate “high-pressure New York schools.”
“No one told us when you have twins, you do double of it,” he said. “The feeding and the diapering and all that, but two 13-year-olds at the same time is the most trying time of their childhood. And Neil is in Belfast right now shooting a movie, so I’ve been on single parent duty.”
While raising their kids, Burtka and Harris, 50, know they always have one pal they can lean on: Elton John. (The musician and husband David Furnish welcomed sons Zachary and Elijah in 2010 and 2013, respectively.)
“We’re going to be seeing them this summer in Nice,” Burtka revealed. “It was weird for the first couple of years to be sitting and having breakfast with Elton John at his villa in Nice, but now it’s just Uncle Elton.”
For Burtka, supporting the GLSEN Respect Awards was a no-brainer. “I mean, the GLSEN education is incredible for kids who are struggling with identity,” he told Us.
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Proceeds from the event — which honored Marcia Gay Harden with the Advocate Award — help support programs such as The Rainbow Library, which makes banned LGBTQ+ affirming books available to students.
“We all need support. I mean, we can’t do it alone,” Burtka said. “It’s all about service and taking care of each other and that’s what we have to do today, and we have to raise money to make sure that these kids feel comfortable.”
With reporting by Andrew Nodell
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